Uncle Bunkle

Uncle Bunkle Uncle Bunkle is a funny old thin who’s almost as old as Granny Geezer. Actually, his full name is Carbunklearc but over time it got shortened to Bunkle. Then, because he was kind of adopted into our family clan, everyone started to call him Uncle Bunkle.

He used to live in a closet in some huge old mansion somewhere in the human world until about a century ago. The rest of his clan lived in dungeons underneath the mansion. But he came to our jamboree because he enjoys parties and when he tried to go back he couldn’t – he was locked out! He wrote a poem about it too.

Oh yes! Uncle Bunkle is a pretty decent poet and he plays the flute pretty well too. But don’t ask him to dance. Speck says he’s got all left feet – whatever that means!

Can you imagine your own clan locking you out of your home? So, anyway, after he was locked out of his closet home, Uncle Bunkle came back here to us where he’s been ever since. I think there’s some distant relation between him and Granny but it’s so far back no one knows just what it is anymore.

Now a Clan Lockdown is when the whole clan gets together and does magic against another member of the clan. They all have to agree to the terms and the Lockdown is only good as long as the entire clan remains in the establishment. If even one of them moves, the Lockdown is broken.

At first he was very sad because all his poems and his flute were lost, left in his old home and he couldn’t get them. He felt a bit better after Fantum gave him a new flute so they could play music together.

Then, about 50 years ago, we learned that Uncle Bunkle’s former home had been sold. It was going to be turned into some fancy, luxury resort, which meant too many humans would be around, so his former clan had moved. With the clan gone, the lockdown was also gone. So Uncle Bunkle was able to go there one night, before construction started, when the place was empty, and bring back his flute and all his poetry.

Shyster has almost finished getting Uncle Bunkle’s poetry into bound volumes with seaweed-leather covers. As he writes more, Shyster collects it until there is enough for another book. She says she will soon have to add more shelving to hold them all.

His old flute hangs on the wall of the music room in a display case. Uncle Bunkle prefers the newer flute that Fantum gave him. They make an odd pair, these two – he’s at least three times as old as she is, maybe more. Granny says he is her ‘mentor’ but I think it’s more like he’s adopted her. Unofficially, of course! Anyway, she made him one of her special seaweed pies for Monster Day and I’m almost sure I saw tears in his eyes. He said I was seeing things but I know what I saw! On the whole, Uncle Bunkle has settled in nicely with our clan.

And I convinced him to share that poem about being locked out too. I think it's pretty good. You can read it here.

© F. Herridge

Monster Tales

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