Hello Dearie. Come in and sit down. Itís nice and warm. Someone lit a fire for me Ė I donít remember who. Maybe I was dozing but I seem to forget a lot of things these days. They say itís Ďcause Iím getting old and that the mind is the first thing to go!
Sure, Iíve been old for a long time already. Never you mind how long Ė or how old I am. What did you say your name was? Oh, thatís right, you didnít say. Anyway, thatís not important. Now where was I? Oh, yes Ö come closer Ö
My dear, theyíre trying to poison me, you know. I guess Iíve been around too long and they want to get rid of me. They think I donít know about it. Hmph! How dumb do they think I am? I might have art-ritis and his son ozzy-art-ritis, but theyíre in me bones Ė not me head!
Anyway, they can deny it all they want to, but I know what theyíre up to. How do I know? Well, I havenít said anything before, but I keeps rat poison in the cupboard, and lately some of it has been disappearing!
What did you say?
Well, yes, I did use some of it. I had no other choice. You see, a family of rabid raccoons came down the chimney one night when the fire went out. Someone had to deal with them.
Then, just last week, a demon came in here, disguised as a chamber maid, and Ö well, I had to do something Ö but Ö
Goodness me! Where are my manners? I havenít even introduced myself! Iím Granny Annie, though in my younger days I was known as Arsenic Annie. Now, have you ever tried iced herbal tea? Itís really quite nice. It will help you to relax before you Ö er Ö fall asleep. Go on, try it.
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